Preparing for motherhood should begin long before conception. And while there’s no definitive rule book or guide on things to do before starting your TTC journey or when to start. There are certain considerations that can make the transition into motherhood smoother. These steps can help you maintain your sense of self, nurture relationships, and ensure a balanced and fulfilling life (before and during motherhood).
Motherhood is often described as a transformative experience that can impact relationships, interests, and various aspects of life. While this may hold true to some extent, it’s essential to prepare yourself mentally, for these transitions and live a fulfilling life before embarking on the journey of motherhood.
The common focus when discussing “Things to Do Before Starting Your TTC Journey” is primarily always the physical aspects of conception. While this is an important consideration for many individuals, it’s equally crucial to consider the life you’re currently living and desires within (during) motherhood.
Because once you cross over into motherhood, it can be overwhelming and filled with loads of responsibilities. Causing many of us to lose ourselves in motherhood, because we never knew who we were prior to motherhood.
I can personally relate to this struggle, which is one of the reasons I started this blog. My idea was to help guide moms to gain a different perspective regarding self-care/self-presence throughout motherhood, in order to reclaim their identity outside of motherhood. While it’s true that hindsight is 20/20, I believe had I dedicated more time for myself before TTC (developing my identity and interest), I could have transitioned into motherhood smoother; possibly reducing self-negligence and mom guilt.
Instead of trying to create a new way of life after motherhood, I could have focused on reclaiming the life I started to cultivate before motherhood; or re-adjusted based on my circumstances.
Of course, for some individuals, motherhood is their ultimate purpose, and they are content with dedicating themselves entirely to their children. And that’s completely valid!
But what about the moms who desire more?
What actions should they consider/things to do before starting your TTC journey, to help minimize the chance of losing their identity, relationships, interests. etc.?
Well, I’m glad you asked because I’ve got you covered!
But first, it’s important to note that this list is not exhaustive, and you can customize it to suit your needs/desires. These are merely ideas (a starting place) that serve as a guide to support your personal growth, to discover who you are, who you want to be (inside/outside the context of motherhood), and other aspects of life. This can also assist you in determining your desired parenting style and facilitate a smoother transition into motherhood, even as you continue to grow and adapt.
So, without further ado, here are a list of things to do before starting your TTC journey.
10 Things to Do Before Starting Your TTC Journey: Self-Care Edition
1- Re-connect with your spouse/partner
First, I know you’re thinking… HOW is re-connecting with your spouse/partner an act of self-care? Well self-care encompasses many aspects of life, which includes, fostering relationships that positively serves you. Therefore, your spouse/partner should be a relationship you want to nurture, as they can help to center your thoughts, energy, etc. (Not in a co-dependent way… more so, consciously aligning in purpose).
I hope that makes sense! Now moving on to the reason this is #1 on our list and the benefits it can have in the future!
Nurturing your relationship before TTC, allows you’ll to reinforce the love and commitment between you and your partner. It allows you to prioritize quality time together and create shared experiences, reminding yourselves of the reasons you fell in love in the first place. By focusing on friendship, dating, and nurturing similar interests, you can build a strong foundation to weather the challenges that may arise during your TTC journey.
During your reconnection, discussing parenting styles, core values, and roles within the future family dynamic, can help limit arguments and misunderstandings down the road. Understanding each other’s expectations and desires for parenthood, promotes alignment and unity in your approach to raising a child together.
Ways to connect with your spouse/partner: dedicated date nights, engaging in shared hobbies or TV series, learning each other’s love language, planning getaways, and recreating fun events, just to name a few. The goal is to actively invest in the growth of your relationship and ensure both partners’ needs are met.
Couples therapy or spiritual counseling can also provide a safe space for addressing any unresolved issues or deepening your connection.
Overall, taking the time to reconnect with your partner before embarking on the TTC journey lays a strong foundation for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It allows you to navigate the challenges of parenthood as a united front, strengthening your bond and ensuring that both of you feel supported and fulfilled in your partnership.
2- Practice communication
Effective communication is essential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship, especially when it comes to preparing for motherhood. Practicing communication before starting your journey to motherhood can benefit not only your interactions with your children but also your relationship with your spouse or partner. Often, we hesitate to voice our concerns or address issues in relationships due to shame or a lack of effective communication skills. However, suppressing our thoughts and emotions can lead to increased tension and explosive moments down the road, creating potentially a toxic environment.
Motherhood can bring overwhelming moments, making it even more crucial to have strong communication skills (don’t be a yeller like me, I’m working on this daily, lol). By working on communication beforehand, you can develop the skills and techniques to express yourself effectively. Helping to address concerns in a constructive manner.
Being direct and clear in your communication, asking for what you need and setting clear expectations, speaking in lower tones to maintain calmness, and writing letters can all contribute to fostering better communication in your relationship.
By actively practicing and refining these communication skills, you can build a foundation of open and effective communication, which will serve you well throughout your motherhood journey. It allows you to navigate challenging situations and express your thoughts and feelings in a way that promotes understanding and connection with your partner and future children.
3- Find/Follow your purpose
Exploring your passions and finding fulfillment in life is crucial before embarking on the journey of motherhood (IMO). Take this time to dive deep into your aspirations and focus on activities that bring you joy with a sense of peace and purpose. By taking intentional action and investing in your personal growth and interests, you can develop a strong sense of self-identity, which is essential for maintaining a healthy balance within motherhood.
It’s important to explore your purpose and lean into what truly resonates with you. Discover activities and hobbies that bring you joy and make you feel alive. Take the time to reflect on your vision for the future and redefine your goals as needed. Engage in passion projects that allows you to express yourself creatively and nurture your personal growth.
By cultivating your own interests and passions, you not only enrich your own life but also bring a sense of fulfillment and inspiration into your role as a mother. It ensures that you maintain a well-rounded sense of self and continue to pursue your dreams and aspirations alongside your responsibilities as a parent.
4- Switch up your routine
When preparing for motherhood, it’s essential to be open to embracing change and adapting new routines. The arrival of a baby will disrupt your current schedule, so it’s helpful to let go of rigid routines and be flexible in your approach. While routines are valuable for children, being able to reprioritize and adjust your daily activities will ease the transition into motherhood.
One aspect to consider is modifying your sleep schedule. Babies have their own sleep patterns and may wake up frequently during the night, requiring you to adjust your sleep routine accordingly. Being open to adjusting your sleep patterns can help you get the rest you need while attending to your baby’s needs.
Additionally, consider shifting your self-care activities to various times throughout the day (or week). As a new mother, finding time for self-care can be challenging for some. By rearranging your self-care routine to fit into the available time slots, you can ensure that you still prioritize your well-being while attending to your baby’s needs.
Lastly, embrace the idea of adding unusual or unplanned events to your calendar. Motherhood often comes with unexpected surprises and changes in plans. By cultivating a mindset of spontaneity and being open to new experiences, you can adapt to the unpredictable nature of motherhood with more ease.
By being flexible with your routines and embracing change, you can navigate the transition into motherhood more smoothly and reduce feelings of stress or frustration when your daily schedule is disrupted. Remember, it’s about finding a balance that works for you and your growing family.
5- Seek 1-on-1 Therapy/Counseling
Addressing and healing past hurt, and trauma. Unresolved trauma can have a significant impact on your emotional well-being and can affect your relationships with your spouse and children. It’s important to acknowledge and work through these issues so that you can create a healthy and nurturing environment for yourself and your family.
Seeking healing for past trauma is a proactive step towards personal growth and emotional well-being. This can involve various approaches, such as therapy, counseling, or support groups, depending on the nature of the trauma and your individual needs. Grief counseling can be beneficial if you have experienced significant losses or unresolved grief, allowing you to process your emotions and find healthy ways to cope.
Connecting with a spiritual leader or advisor can provide guidance and support during this healing process. They can offer a perspective rooted in spirituality or faith that may help you find inner strength and peace. Additionally, life coaching can provide practical tools and strategies to navigate challenges, set goals, and cultivate a positive mindset.
By addressing past trauma and seeking healing, you can break free from negative patterns and create a healthier emotional foundation for yourself and your future family. It’s an investment in your overall well-being and sets the stage for a more fulfilling and balanced motherhood journey.
6- Establish Balance/Priorities
Establishing balance and priorities is a never-ending journey, especially during motherhood. It involves intentionally identifying and prioritizing the important people and activities in your life, setting boundaries, and creating a structured and disciplined lifestyle that supports the well-being of you and your family.
Prioritizing important people and activities means recognizing the relationships and aspects of your life that are meaningful and valuable to you. It may involve allocating time and energy for your partner, family, close friends, and personal interests. By giving importance to these connections and activities, you create a sense of fulfillment and maintain a strong support system during the challenges of motherhood.
Establishing structure and a disciplined lifestyle helps you navigate the demands of parenting more effectively. This can include setting routines, schedules, and systems that promote balance and organization in your daily life.
Setting boundaries is crucial to maintain your own well-being and protect your energy. It involves clearly communicating your needs and limitations to others, whether it’s in your personal relationships or other areas of life.
Establishing structure and setting boundaries can prioritize for self-care, spend quality time with your loved ones, pursuing personal goals, avoid burnout (and future mom burn out), and maintain healthy boundaries in your interactions with others.
It can help you navigate the demands of parenting while also taking care of your own well-being and honoring the important aspects of your life. It’s about finding harmony when creating a fulfilled and balanced life as a mother.
7- Develop Interest
Developing new interests and hobbies before embarking on your journey into motherhood can bring joy and fulfillment to your life. It allows you to explore your passions, discover new talents, and maintain a sense of identity beyond the role of being a mother. Trying new things is a great way to step out of your comfort zone and engage in activities or experiences that you’ve always been curious about. Whether it’s trying a new sport, learning a musical instrument, or taking up a new form of art, exploring new things can ignite your creativity and open up new avenues of personal growth.
Connecting with meetup groups related to your interests is another wonderful way to develop new interests. Joining these groups introduces you to like-minded individuals who share similar hobbies or passions. It provides an opportunity to engage in social activities, exchange ideas, and build new friendships. Additionally, signing up for planned community events can be a great way to develop interest as it relates sparking change within your local community.
When exploring new interests, it’s important to prioritize activities that bring you joy and allows you to express your creativity. Whether it’s gardening, painting, writing, or cooking, engaging in activities connected to your passions can serve as a form of self-care and provide a sense of fulfillment. This can positively impact your well-being and overall happiness as you embark on your journey into motherhood with a sense of excitement and a strong sense of self.
8- Find support groups
Finding support groups before starting your journey into motherhood can provide invaluable emotional support, guidance, and a sense of community.
For example, joining a motivating and positive women-related groups can offer a supportive network of like-minded individuals who uplift and encourage each other. These groups often provide a safe space for sharing experiences, seeking advice, and discussing various aspects of life. Being part of such a community can help you navigate the challenges and joys of life with the support and understanding of others who are on a similar path. It can also be an opportunity to gain valuable insights, learn from the experiences of others, and build meaningful connections with women who share similar values and aspirations.
9- Disconnect from distractions
Disconnect from distractions to focus and create a positive environment for yourself. It’s important to identify and distance yourself from things that evoke feelings of envy or derail you from your path. This could involve taking a break from consuming content that triggers negative emotions or comparison. By consciously choosing to step away from such material, you can protect your mental and emotional well-being/staying more grounded in your own journey.
In addition to disconnecting from disturbing published content, it may also be necessary to evaluate and limit your interactions with family and friends who may not be supportive or aligned with your goals. It’s not about completely cutting off relationships, but rather establishing boundaries and prioritizing connections that contribute to your overall well-being and growth for the season you’re in. This intentional disengagement allows you to stay centered, maintain your focus, and cultivate a mindset that is aligned with your goals and aspirations.
10- Surrender and Relax
Surrendering and relaxing before starting your TTC journey is about shifting your mindset and embracing trust in the process. It’s about getting out of your own head and allowing things to unfold naturally and in their own time. This can be particularly challenging when trying to conceive, as it’s easy to get caught up in the desire for control and immediate results. However, surrendering and relaxing can help alleviate stress and create space for growth and healing.
Part of surrendering is acknowledging and letting go of past disappointments. It’s about releasing any emotional baggage that may be holding you back in order to make room for new experiences and possibilities. By focusing on your own personal growth and healing, you can fill any void you may be experiencing and cultivate a sense of fulfillment within yourself. This inner work is essential for creating a positive and nurturing environment for both you and your future child.
In the process of surrendering, it’s important to trust in a Higher Power/something greater than yourself. During my TTC I had to lean into my Faith in God, knowing that He would give me the desires of my heart, but in His timing.
Was it easy, ABSOLUTLELY NOT!
But when I stopped thinking about it and stopped trying, it happened. But because it didn’t happen as quickly as I thought it would, it led me to taking the steps to prepare my body for conception. But it still didn’t happen immediately.
So, ultimately, surrendering control and submitting to a Higher Power, helps you acknowledge that there are forces beyond your control. This mindset shift can bring a sense of peace and ease as you navigate the ups and downs of the TTC journey.
Embracing the Journey + Building a Strong Foundation for Motherhood
Motherhood is an extraordinary and rewarding journey, but it also requires careful preparation and a solid foundation. Before embarking on this transformative path, it is crucial to ensure that you’re ready both emotionally and mentally. Remember that the process of trying to conceive should be enjoyable and intimate, not a burden or chore. Embrace the excitement and create beautiful moments with your spouse/partner as you embark on this remarkable journey together.
But most importantly, be patient and kind to yourself along the way, knowing that there are endless opportunities for growth and self-discovery as you prepare for the joys of motherhood.
I would love to hear your thoughts on the information shared in this blog post! Of the 10 Things To Do Before Starting Your TTC Journey, which will you implement? Leave me a comment and follow me on social media, so we can connect and learn from one another throughout our motherhood journey!
Happy self-caring… sending good vibes and lots of baby dust, whenever you start your TTC journey!